Why Setting Goals Causes Problems
Published March 26th, 2012 | 
When you set a goal, one thing is certain. You will encounter obstacles. It’s basic Newtonian Mechanics (remember that from school?). Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
What most (unsuccessful) people do when they hit resistance is they give up, make excuses, they stop. I’ve heard many say “It’s a sign from the universe it’s not meant to be”.
But the opposite is actually true. Resistance and challenges are not only completely normal and natural, they are inevitable and unavoidable. When you set a goal, you’re creating change, and any time you change anything, there will be resistance.
How to overcome resistance
So how can you make it easier to overcome resistance?
Here is a three-step process for coming up with creative solutions to problems and overcoming obstacles.
1. Ask
Get a really clear question that you would like the answer to. A mistake many people make when they hit a problem is to focus on the problem, how it’s a problem, how bad they feel that they have this problem and all the other things that will go wrong because they have this problem.
But that gets you nowhere. Instead try this:
Get a clear question that you would like the answer to. Get clear on the solution you want. For example:
- How can I raise the funds for xxx?
- How can I get childcare so I can be away from home?
- How can I find a web designer / copywriter / graphic designer / etc to do x, y, z?
Once you’ve got your question. Write it down.
2. Receive.
Next meditate on the question – with the relaxed expectation that the answer will come. Allow all the thoughts, images, sounds and feelings that arise as a result of asking this question to wash across your mind. Trust your unconscious mind, as I know you can, to receive and transmit all the insights, information and answers that are most appropriate for you and to this question.
Keep the question on a piece of paper handy and as you go about your day, remind your unconscious mind that you are seeking the answer to this question.
This is all about turning your mind to receptive mode. So you’re ready to receive the answer or solution, and no longer swirling around in the problem space.
As you receive, keep saying thank you for all and any answers you get.
3. Record.
Make a note of what you receive. Just write it down. Keep a record of EVERYTHING you get.
Don’t judge, analyse, assess or question the answers too quickly. Just receive and record. Remember to say thank you for every answer.
If you keep doing this for long enough eventually the perfect, right solution will appear.
Those are the three steps: Ask, Receive, Record. Follow this for any resistance, problem or challenge and the answer and solution will appear.
I love you.
Why Does Love Hurt?
Published March 1st, 2012 | 
Picture this. It’s a special occasion, and you want your husband to remember it, to treat you in a special way, buy you a small gift or take you out, or maybe to speak those special words to you in that special tone of voice. Or maybe you’d just love to held or hugged in that perfect way.
But what happens? He forgets. He comes home in a grump. There’s no outing, no gift, no special words and no hug. And maybe even worse. All the efforts you made to mark the occasion have gone to waste.
How would that make you feel? If you’re most people – probably pretty bad.
You might feel justifiably angry. He should have remembered after all! Or perhaps you’ll just feel sad, that you didn’t get to feel loved in the ways you wanted.
Maybe you feel afraid that your relationship is danger. Is he going to leave you?
Possibly you feel hurt, that all your efforts went unnoticed, ignored or rejected?
Or do you feel guilty? Perhaps you didn’t love him enough for him to reciprocate.
All these emotions are actually the resistance to LOVE, and it’s triggered by the inner desire for some outer experience.
A painful emotion is the tension we feel when there’s a difference between what we want, and what we have
So the bottom line is that all emotional pain comes from expectations. When you expect someone else to be or do or give you something and you don’t get that you feel pain.
Now many people would say the way to feel more love is to create more experiences that fit your expectations.
But what if you turned it on its head?
What if you decided that you had all the love you could possibly want already flowing in you? Maybe it comes from your direct connection to source energy.
And what if you have no need for anyone else to do anything in order for you to feel that love? Indeed the very desire or expectation that someone else will cause YOU to have love moving in your neurology makes no sense. The energy of love is already within you, and it can move any time you choose it to.
Try this experiment
Let go of any expectations of anyone, any group of people or anything, or to be or do or give you anything in any way. Run this experiment for a whole day.
Notice how much more love you feel within your own being.
And remember no matter what you do, or who you are, or what you give or take from me.
I love you.
Lisa
What Is Love Anyway?
Published February 13th, 2012 |  Imagine what it would be like to feel love and loved all the time?
Can you recall what it felt like the last time you knew 100% with every cell of your being that you were loved? I hope so, and I hope it was recent, and that it happens again soon, if not right now. Sadly for too many people they don’t really feel love or loved. They feel alone, sad or hurt by past experiences. And at Valentine’s Day when we are bombarded with the suggestion that we should be in a “happy couple” and that there’s something wrong if you’re not it’s especially challenging. Well in this article I’d like to share with you ways that you can create more love, the purest, most blissful source of love. And you’ll discover why love hurts and how to stop it hurting. Let’s start by explaining what love is Some people try to define it by how it feels, others by the kinds of relationships that we can feel love in. For example romantic love, platonic, parental love, the love we feel for our children. And they define each type of relationship as having different kinds of love. But what if the relationship had nothing to do with what love really is? Wouldn’t it be amazing if the love you feel is completely separate from anything going on outside of you, who you were with, or what you were doing? In a moment I’m going to show you how this could be. So let’s imagine that love is nothing more than a form of energy. Like electricity And just as electricity flows through wires and cables, love travels through channels in your body. I’m going to call these channels your neurology. What’s your neurology? It’s basically your nervous system that carries information around your entire body. It goes way beyond the brain too by the way. So love is a kind of energy. What kind of energy? I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that it’s as close to pure source energy as you can get in the body. So when you feel love, what you are feeling is the unfettered rush and flow of pure source energy within your body. And it feels GREAT! Indeed this might be the reason we have bodies – so we can feel love flowing through them. Romantic love – would simply be the experience of source energy moving in the body as triggered by the connection to another person, who also has source energy in their body. Platonic love – would be the feeling of source energy moving triggered by a friend. So why does love hurt? Well the hurt you feel is actually the resistance to love. Just like an electrical circuit, components in the circuit can have a purpose. It makes a light bulb glow, or a motor run. This is how love motivates us to make changes in our lives and the world. And it is the single most powerful motivating force in the universe. However when something is introduced to the circuit that resists the flow of love and creates no useful purpose we feel that as emotional pain. Just as certain elements in an electrical circuit can block the flow of electricity in such a way that it simply heats up, catches fire or blows a fuse. When love is blocked, this is what happens in our bodies, and we feel it as emotional pain. What blocks the flow is tension in the body. This tension is caused by the difference between what we want (inside of ourselves, and what we experience in the physical reality. I’ll cover that in more detail in our next issue so make sure you look out for that. For now – to increase love remember that regardless of what is happening outside of you in terms of your relationships, those circumstances don’t need to affect how much love flows within you. And remember that all pain is simply the resistance to love. Resist less, love more. I love you Lisa |
The Lion, The Wizard and The Goody Two Shoes
Published January 31st, 2012 | 
When you were a child did you have a favourite movie? One that would transport you to another world where you could become completely lost and absorbed into the sounds, colours and emotions of the characters.
One of my favourites was The Wizard of Oz, and my favourite character was the Lion. Dorothy was always too much of a “goody two shoes” for my liking. With her clothes all clean and neat and always doing the “right thing” and then there’s that too-cute dog… But that’s another story.
The reason I liked the Lion so much was because although he claimed to have no courage, he did the bravest things. Imagine setting off on a journey with a bunch of strangers you’ve only just met, one of them a self confessed psychopath (the Tin man with no heart) to go to a place you’re not sure even exists, let alone how to get there! That’s a pretty brave thing in my book.
I also loved what a dreamer he was. Do you remember when you were a child having amazing fantasies. How real they seemed. But like most people I’m sure you found “reality” creeping in to chip away at them bit by bit.
The bravest thing about the Lion was that despite his “lack of courage” he relentlessly and bravely followed his dream of becoming brave. He believed with absolute certainty that he COULD become something that he wasn’t yet.
Well it’s nearly February and I’m wondering how brave you are feeling about those goals you set in January. How bravely are you holding on to YOUR dreams? Are you letting that pesky thing that others call “reality” challenge your own resolve and beliefs?
Here are a couple of little tricks I do when I need to draw up that extra bit of bravery, resolve and belief.
List all the things that I have done that scared me $%!*=$$ at the time.
Moved away from my family in Australia to the other side of the world aged 15
Escaped from my abuser aged 20
Got an engineering degree
My PhD viva with the chief technical director from Rover and Pro VC of Birmingham University
Cycled across Spain, alone
Cycled across France alone
Started my business instead of getting another job when I was made redundant. I had no clue if it would work, and I had a family to support
Signing up for a coaching programme on a credit card, not knowing how I would pay it off
Ignored the “recession” and decided that this would increase sales (and it did)
When you’ve made your list of brave things you have done, spend a few moments going back to how you felt back then. Maybe you were both a little bit scared, but also very brave. As you think of that past version of you send some of the courage that you have now BACK in time to you in the past. Now that you know you did the right thing send back the certainty that it’s the right thing to do?
And the next time you’re feeling less than completely brave, remember the lion who was brave enough to go in search of courage, and imagine what a future you who had succeeded in facing the challenge might want you to know.
Be brave.
I love you.
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