I spent most days either in emotional turmoil or completely numbed out. Even the most ordinary situations, like buying clothes or meeting someone new caused me extreme anxiety, I had trouble speaking, couldn’t voice my opinion let alone stand up for myself. Any minor criticism would shatter my already fragile psyche, and I would take days or even weeks to recover. I lived almost as a recluse with few friends and rarely venturing out of my little London bedsit.

It came to a head one day when on a day out with some friends to the Isle of Wight, I stood on the cliff top at The Needles looking down. For years every waking moment I’d felt my whole being utterly wracked with pain and as I peered over the edge I realised that down there, at the foot of that drop, the pain would stop.

If I was to take only one step forward it would all go away.

A spent a few moments contemplating this and imagining the bliss and relief from the torture my life had become.

In that moment I made a decision. I stepped back and made a resolve that I would recover.

I would get over this.

I would live my life and find a way to be OK, even if in that moment I had no idea how to do this or where to find help. I stepped back from the edge.

My quest took many years, many wrong turns and blind alleys. But I have recovered. I am happy, with a family, great friends and, I run a business helping others to release their pain and trauma and teaching others to do what I do.

The biggest myth about emotional trauma

One of the biggest myths portrayed by the media, films and stories is that once you’ve had a traumatic experience that you will be emotionally scarred for life and that the best you can hope for is to learn to live with it, understand it.

However, recent years have brought about a plethora of techniques to release emotions. This list has been put together based on my personal experience of these therapies in my own quest to recover from childhood sexual abuse.

I am a walking testament to the fact that emotions CAN be released. Limiting beliefs like “I’m no good / I deserve to be punished” can be released forever. Here is a list of some of the techniques I’ve tried and how effective they are.

Which therapies work and which don’t

1.    Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy has its roots in Freudian analysis and is essentially a “talking cure” centring on the client talking through their issues with a therapist. It involves the client lying on a couch with the therapist sitting at the clients head, the client and therapist to not look at each other.

The idea is that talking about your problems and past will give you a better understanding of yourself and raise self awareness.

But I found it ludicrous. To say I didn’t feel comfortable lying down in the same room as a man I could not see was an understatement. I was terrified of most, no, ALL men. Not in a running away screaming way, but in a just not able to relax in the presence of a man. I frequently couldn’t speak to men directly. So being asked to lie down, powerless and vulnerable, on my back in the same room as a man whom I could not see caused me extreme anxiety.

I tried another psychotherapist whose way of working was to sit in comfy chairs facing each other which was marginally better, but the results were poor.

I was told it would likely take a long time, years even to get any benefit. I stuck at it for a few months but found it pretty ineffective. I knew what my problem was and continually talking about it seemed to make it no better and only caused me to repeatedly go back and relive those horrendous experiences of the past.

The rapes, the lock-ins, the rejections, the humiliations ran round and round in my head all the time so I didn’t need to talk about them as well. I realised it was actually making it worse for me.

I don’t believe that simply getting an understanding of your problem actually fixes it. Most people are all too aware of why they have low self esteem (or whatever their problem is) but that doesn’t actually cure the problem.

Understanding your problem doesn’t solve it. That’s like taking your broken car to the garage to be told exactly what’s wrong with it and told to learn to cope driving a car that’s broken.

2.    Affirmations
Saying positive affirmations might change your state or mood in the short term, but it doesn’t remove limiting beliefs. Also in order for affirmations to change your state you have to remember to say them.

Since we don’t have to remember to feel bad, it happens automatically, having to remember to say your affirmation’s makes this technique pretty limited. Sometimes I found short term relief but often saying something that I felt completely untrue inside and contradicted my feelings jarred and often only reminded me of how bad I felt.

3.    Psychodrama
This is where you act out painful situations from your past and change them so you can experience something different, like fighting back, feeling more powerful.

This technique gave me some benefit and helped to change the way I felt about certain past events, but was quite time consuming. It only really worked on one issue or past event at a time. As it’s done in groups it can take a while to feel safe enough in a group to share your past and your pain.

4.    EFT
This technique is based on tapping meridians to release the emotion. The tapping points are usually on the face, torso and hands.

This was my first experience of a real emotional release technique and it really does remove the emotion. However, it is limited in that it only removes the emotion from ONE memory at a time. If, like me, you’ve had 7 years of pretty horrendous emotional torment it can take a lot of tapping to show a significant difference.

5.    EmoTrance
By paying attention to where you feel the emotion in your body, allowing it to soften and flow using attention, the feeling leaves your body and with it the emotion.

As with EFT this only works on one memory at a time so this process can also require lots of sessions before you notice a significant difference. Because there is no or little conscious understanding of the problem sometimes the feelings and emotions seemed to get stuck. This had limited success with me.

6.     Shamanic healing
Based on various tribal cultures this uses altered states of consciousness, dream work, energy work and symbolism to change your experience of the physical reality.

Shamanic extraction is a powerful shamanic technique that removes “energy” left in your energy body by past trauma.

Soul retrieval is another that brings back parts of you that have been lost or left in the past. During times of trauma bits of your soul leave for safety reasons.

Following both of these processes I experienced a massive shift. It gave me the confidence to ask for a raise from my boss without fear, and I was able to have a “normal” relationship with a man for the first time, I am now married to this same wonderful man.

Shamanic healing does require you to be rather open minded as there is little theory as to why it works, but for me it just did! And the results were instant.

7.    NLP Neuro-Linguistic Programming and hypnosis
NLP is a collection of techniques that are based on modelling successful therapists and therapies.

I found this amazingly successful at enabling me to access more resources and cope with situations that had previously caused me great anxiety. It’s quick and effective.

8.    Timeline Therapy(TM)
This is an NLP technique but as not every NLP practitioner knows it I’ve listed it separately.

Time Line Therapy(TM) is not to be confused with Time Line or walking the timeline.

TLT is phenomenally powerful and as someone who had been haunted by my past daily, was barely able to function normally, and found even the most ordinary situations traumatic and terrifying TLT was a miracle.

In one 4 hour session I had released all the pain and trauma of my past. It didn’t involve me going right into the memory, so it was gentle and completely safe. At no time did I have to “face my fears”

I simply let the emotion go and it was indeed GONE. I couldn’t believe it.

The result was like flicking a switch. I was able to be around men and feel ok about it. The flashbacks stopped. Instantly, and they never came back.

The great benefit of TLT is that it releases all of the emotion from ALL of your past in one session. So that’s ALL your anger, ALL your sadness, ALL your guilt, ALL your fear, and so on. It also completely removed and deleted limiting decisions so they are just NOT true for me any longer.

9.    Higher Self Therapy
This technique is even more effective than Time Line Therapy as it is even quicker and removes emotions at an even deeper level.

Whereas TLT removes the emotions from the emotional and mental body, Higher Self Therapy also releases it from a soul or karmic level.

These last two are the ones I now teach to my students and are the ones I recommend most highly.

My self esteem issues vanished overnight. I now know I am a good person. I didn’t deserve what happened, and I have been able to forgive my abuser. I still wouldn’t have him round for tea, but I no longer harbour the hatred for him that had previously been festering inside.

As a direct result of making a single decision on the cliff top I went on a journey of recovery and healing. I am now healed and whole. I’m not perfect (I’m still untidy) but I am not only “OK” I’m bloomin’ fantastic. My life is filled with joy, and happiness and love. I am loved, feel loved and love easily. I live my life as I choose.

In fact I believe I am more free and filled with joy now than most people who have NEVER had the kind of past I have.  I am braver. I am able to speak my truth. I don’t take offence easily. I am confident. I really like who I am. And if others don’t like me or take offence at me, I forgive them.

If you have had trauma in the past, even if you are not healed yet, please take this one thing from reading this.

YOU CAN RECOVER!

All you have to do is decide.

If you have decided, get free instant access to how to recover from abuse, go to www.recoverfromabuse.com or take our free  online course – Emotional resilience http://www.psycademy.co.uk/emotional-resillience/

By Dr. Lisa Turner

Lisa is a Trainer of NLP, Time Line therapy, Hypnosis, NLP Coaching, Shamanic healing and other healing processes. If you have been affected by any of the topics mentioned here contact me via lisaturner@psycademy.co.uk. All information will be treated in the strictest confidence.

Ingredients – you will need

Instructions

Place individuals in a small house and gently stir and agitate to raise emotional tensions and strain for several days. Slowly add a little resentment, and misunderstanding.

 Set various members of the families tasks that they never do so will get wrong. Make one member solely responsible for keeping the peace.

Expect or try to make it the “perfect Christmas” to really increase the tension.

Keep the family unit contained until breaking point when someone says something they shouldn’t and a full blown row and walk out ensues.

Serve hot with anger, frustration and a dash of disappointment.

1. Ok – so that’s how NOT to do it this Christmas. Here are some tips on how to ensure your family Christmas is the happy time you all want it to be.
2. Lay down the ground rules for the house and Christmas period. Who’s going to be in charge of what. Let each family member choose something to be solely responsible for. Mum (or Dad) might do the cooking, Dad can do the shopping, and the kids can decorate the tree and clear up after the meal. Gran can lay the table or wrap presents. Make sure everyone has a little task to do. That way everyone can be involved and it will make it more fun.
3. Recognise that all behaviour has a positive intention. So whatever someone is doing or saying, they have an underlying intention that is positive. The annoying thing that person is doing – they’re not actually doing it to annoy you. They are just doing it, and it happens to annoy you. They might be unaware that it annoys you, or might even be trying to please you! 
4. Take ownership of your own emotions. No one can make you feel anything. All too often in our family relationships we swap the responsibility of our emotions round. We feel it’s up to us to make them feel good and up to them to make us feel good. But it’s so much more empowering and freeing if you take responsibility for your own emotions, and give them back responsibility for theirs. 
5. The 5 most powerful words in any relationship are “I’m not ok with that” If someone does something you don’t like, tell them by saying: “When you (state their behaviour). I feel (state how you feel)” or, more simply “I’m not Ok with that”. There can be no arguments it makes it really clear and simple, and removes the emotional charge out of the discussion.
6. Connect at a spiritual level. Remember even your family are spiritual beings, whom you have chosen to “play” with in this lifetime. All the dramas are only acted out as a kind of play for you to learn and grow from. Connect at a soul level, you see past their faults. Gaze right into your family’s soul and allow them to see yours.  
7. Ask for what you want and need. We all have needs. A need to feel loved, cherished, respected, listened to, or simply a need for a little help in the kitchen etc. Recognise what yours are and state them. “I have a need for…..”. Then state what you would like them to do to meet that need. Be specific about the behaviour. 
8. Send love. By sending unconditional love to your family it is even possible to see them change and soften before your eyes. Imagine an infinite source of love coming in through the top of your head and coming out of your heart to them.  And yes – even send it to your mother-in-law
9. Keep it low key and relaxed. Try not to make it “the best Christmas ever” or to expect it to be perfect. Instead make it nice, but keep it real and relaxed. Most importantly have fun. The best times happen when everyone is relaxed and not trying too hard, then serendipity can sneak in and magic really can happen.

By Dr. Lisa Turner founder of Psycademy – Leaders in Human Evolution. For free instant access to emotional resilience online course click here. http://www.psycademy.co.uk/emotional-resillience/

It usually has some kind of negative connotations, and many people think of it as linked to arrogance.

But this is only part of the story. In fact – if you think ego, or working from ego is negative – then you have ego! If you think EGO is negative then that is your ego talking.

Ego is that “stuff” or those feelings that get between you and your connection to the source

It is what gets between you and other people.

If you have any judgment about another’s behavior – that is your own ego. If you think someone is behaving badly you are making a judgment and that is ego.

Even if you are judging something as GOOD that is ego.

Ego is separation, and the ego wants you to remain separate from others and the source. If there is no separation and you become one with the universe the ego disappears. The ego is fighting for its survival and does so through emotions.

EGO is the part of you that is NOT God. Your emotions Edge God Out (EGO).

Sometimes these emotions might seem nice. You might look at another person and think “I am good. They are bad”. This sort of ego-driven comparison might cause you to feel good or superior to others. This might seem to feel good in the short term, but is ultimately unsatisfying and halts your evolution.

The goal of your spiritual evolution is to bring your Higher Self down and merge it with your conscious and unconscious minds. When the unconscious mind is full of blocks, limitations, limiting beliefs and all the other aspects of the ego the Higher Self cannot exist here.

Those blocks, limitations, limiting beliefs are simply ego.

Emotions only Ever Lie

Release your emotions – Free yourself from EGO

When you release your negative emotions, and other blocks, you create “space” for your Higher Self to merge with the rest of your mind.

Sometimes we think the releasing of these blocks will be painful and difficult. But actually the opposite is true. Holding on to our pain and blocks simply causes us more pain.

It’s not about facing our demons – it’s about releasing them. Set them free. Once they are released they will simply evaporate and vanish. When we release them, let them go – our own Higher Self can destroy the pain.

In order to release a negative emotion or block, fist notice it. When this happens it can feel like a problem. It’s only a problem when you think of it like that. In fact, it’s a perfect opportunity to release another part of your ego, to accelerate your evolution and to bring down your Higher Self.

The goal of spiritual evolution is to constantly be self aware and own everything. Not only the parts of ourselves we don’t like, we have become very good at this. But also to own and let go of those emotions we label positive.

Positive emotions are just as seductive, but when we have them and feel them – they are not US. They are something separate to us. When you let go of having or feeling joy, peace, bliss, then you BECOME joy, peace bliss.

Would you rather FEEL joy – or BE joy?

Would you rather FEEL peace – or BE peace?

Would you rather FEEL bliss – or BE bliss?

Free yourself. Free your mind

For a free emotional and spiritual audit click here.

So how can you rise above your problems?

It’s actually really simple. Really, really, really simple.

The secret is this: Remember that YOU are bigger than your problem, any problem, circumstance or situation. You are bigger than it.

Think about it. If you are a living representation of source energy, the universe or ”God”, if you are source energy made flesh, then you ARE bigger than any paltry difficulty. You have to be. God is bigger than any problem, circumstance or issue that this physical reality can possibly offer.

All you need to do is remember your connection to and embodiment of source energy. Feel that, know that and BE that connection to and example of living, breathing source energy. And then use that energy to overcome whatever you are facing or bypass it or navigate your way through.

You are truly magnificent. If you only knew how wonderful and amazing you really are you would never worry about anything again.

My gift as a psychic is to be able to see inside people. Through the rubbish and limitations to the true self underneath. For my part that makes me vulnerable because I’m not prepared for the rubbish when people throw it at me. I only see the truth beneath.

But I wouldn’t change it for the world. Because I love to see the beauty beneath.

If you are reading this it’s because you know deep down your true magnificence. You’re also here because you are awake. Those who are still asleep don’t notice or get what we share here.

I want to tell you that no matter how hard your life might be or how difficult things are you can overcome them.

I see you. I see the true you. I believe in you.

If you have been seeking release from your painful emotions you may have tried these methods and been left feeling more of a failure because you couldn’t make them work. I hope you will draw comfort from learning that it is not you. it is not your fault. Here is why many therapies simply don’t work or why you haven’t been able to heal yet. 

1. EXPRESS THEM. 

Many therapies focus on crying, talking about your problem or even shouting and screaming. Rather than releasing them this actually reinforces them in your neurology. Every time you think a thought, feel an emotion or recall a memory, the neurons fire in your brain along the same original path. Each time you do this you will actually be strengthening that path, making it easier for that pathway to be fired up next time. This is why small events in the present can trigger past trauma. Expressing emotions does not release them.

 
2. SUPPRESS THEM.

This is also called denial and we do this in a variety of ways. Most people will simply kid themselves or deny (hence the term) that they have any problems at all. Often emotions are suppressed or anaesthetised out of consciousness with addictions. Smoking, drinking, video games, TV, eating too much or a compulsion to eat a particular thing, even caffeine will anaesthetise your pain.
 
However, the pain and the problems are still there. The neurons are still firing, but out of your conscious awareness. Before you can release the problem you need to be honest with yourself about how you feel. It is OK to feel bad, and you can’t let go of something until you know you are holding it. How do you know if you have suppressed emotions? Here are some telltale signs:  

You overreact to small things

This is known as emotional leakage. The emotions, denied in one area of your life, literally spill out in other areas. So if you are irritable, overly sentimental, get hurt by small things, even road rage, are signs that you could be suppressing emotions in another area.
 
Feeling tired – it takes energy to carry emotions (that’s why it’s called emotional baggage) and it takes even more energy to suppress them. If you are lacking in energy, need more sleep than most people or just have no get up and go. Many of my past clients were suffering from chronic fatigue or ME, which disappeared once they released their emotions.

 
You have physical pain with no diagnosable cause.

Back pain, headaches even migraines are an example of this. You have become so used to suppressing your emotions that the spill out as physical pain. Your body is telling you something in the only way it knows how. So pay attention.
 
Many therapies don’t have an effective technique for bringing emotions to the surface and many therapists are actually afraid of provoking their clients emotions. This is the hardest part of my job as a therapist because I need to activate YOUR pain, which in turn, as an empathy, I feel too. But you cannot release emotions you are not aware of.

3. UNDERSTAND THEM

Do you know someone who knows exactly WHY they have their problems? They know the cause, the events that led to them, how it all happened. They will know and fully understand all the patterns and triggers, and often they will find every opportunity to share them with anyone who seems even remotely interested, they will launch into their “story”. The problem is they still have the problem. Knowing why you have the problem and understanding it is a bit like knowing your car doesn’t work because its fan belt has broken, but not actually replacing the fan belt.
 
None of the above is good. None works. None will make you feel better in the long term.

The way to release your emotions is to do just that, release them.

Unfortunately we have been conditioned and trained to hold on to our emotions. The media, particularly soap operas and films, have tricked us into believing that once you have a problem you will always have it and the best you can hope for is to get used to the pain.
 
I would like to share with you that this does NOT have to be the case. You CAN release your pain and trauma so that is simply no longer there. This is a process, a technique, that literally reprograms your neurology so that those emotional pathways don’t run anymore.  If you want to release your pain – then why not sign up for Emotional Clearing? Or if you want to make sense of your own pain and become a therapist to enable OTHERS to release their painful emotions then why not take our Esoteric NLP training. The world is crying out for help right now. 

Own your own emotions

 No one can make you feel anything. Every time you feel anything it is due to your unconscious programming. Bringing them in to consciousness is the first stage of the healing process. To do this, keep a journal of your emotional triggers. Every time you feel a negative emotion write down:
a. What was the emotion?
b. What was the trigger event?
c. What did you say to yourself at the time?
d. What did you think at the time?
e. How did what happened cause you to choose to feel that emotion?

For more on this sign up for this free call.

The law or attraction, esoteric magic, quantum theory and studies of the mind accept that we create our reality based on our thoughts.
So why is it that we can think the perfect reality in our minds, focus on our goals, positive outcomes and what we want all day and night, and yet we STILL manifest a load of problems in our life? Why don’t we manifest what we want? Why do people treat us badly? If we’ve all been thinking such positive thoughts why are we in the worst recession for years? Why is that? Why do bad things happen even when you have been thinking good things?
The answer is that many of our thoughts are not consciously generated. As many as 99% of our thoughts are out of our conscious awareness. It is impossible to become conscious of all our thoughts so we need other ways of controlling and mastering them.

In addition to those unconscious thoughts we are also bombarded with “thought-forms” from around us.
Every thought we think is radiated out into the universe. When you combine a strong thought with a high energy it is called a “thought-form”. It is as if the thought has taken form. Which is does. It takes form in your mind, which effects your emotions and then takes form in the physical reality.
This is fine if the thought is what you want. But what if it is a thought that you don’t want?

HOW CAN YOU REMAIN IMMUNE TO UNWANTED THOUGHT-FORMS?

The power of a thought-form to penetrate your mind depends on several things: its energy, your energy, your thoughts and your emotions.
Everyone is sending out thought-forms all the time. Although many are sent out without the sender even being aware of what they are doing, they can used consciously. The power of a thought form can be increased with certain energy techniques and they can be used to heal or to harm.
If your energy is “higher” than the thoughts-form it will bounce off you, but when your energy is “lower” than these thoughts you can absorb it and start thinking it as if it were your own. You may never know where the thought came from.

Do’s and don’ts for staying immune to harmful thought forms.

• Do – raise your energy. Ha Breathing is a great way to do this and there is an audio on to teach you how on this blog.
• Don’t waste your energy on protection. Creating a barrier of protection requires energy to create and maintain so in the long run it will drain your energy further. Instead focus on keeping your energy high and clear.
• Do meditate to increase your spiritual energy and mental clarity.
• Don’t accept the thoughts and beliefs of others. Any time you hear a belief or thought that you know will limit you in some way, make a conscious choice to ignore it. 
• Do become aware of your emotions. Keep an emotional journal. Every time you feel an emotion, positive or negative detail the time; situation and what caused you to choose to feel that emotion. This will help you to track your internal thoughts and the external triggers for your emotional responses.
• Don’t blame others. Any time you blame others you weaken your energy. In fact you are giving your energy to them when you do this and it increases their ability to send you thought-forms. This is true even for people you don’t know e.g. the government, or those in the financial services industry. Don’t feed them with your energy.
• Do take responsibility for your own thoughts and emotions. You have a choice about every thought you think and emotion you feel. No-one else is in charge of your mind or feelings, you are. 
• Don’t blame yourself. You current situation was created in the past. If you knew then what you knew now you would not have created this, but you didn’t so blaming yourself is self destructive. Blaming yourself for your past choices stops you taking action and making better choices.
• Do start making better choices by increasing your awareness and self awareness. Pay attention to your experiences, life and how you feel. Any time you feel an emotion ask yourself what caused you to choose to feel that way. 
• Don’t deny the way you feel or suppress your emotions. If you feel a negative or painful thought allow yourself to feel it and learn to identify the source of your emotions. To replace negative thoughts with positive thinking is like sticking a smiley sticker over the empty petrol gauge on the dash board of your car, or to turn the radio up to drown out the worrying noise from the engine. Negative emotions can be a sign that you need to take action. Pay attention to the emotions you feel ask yourself what action could you take to prevent or solve a problem.

Because I feel it’s so important for everyone to know the basics of how to control their thoughts and emotions I am running a special teleseminar “Most Thoughts are Not Your Own” For more info and to register click here.