How can I find my soul mate, the one? What is blocking me from forming romantic connections?”


What is presupposed in this question and is  to look at what you are believing about your experience, that would have you create the experience of not being connected, of not having the relationship that you choose, so the first is to understand the purpose of a relationship, and to understand that it is not a relationship.  You do not have a relationship.  What you do is you relate to others, and this is a doing, not a having, process.  So when you understand that it is a doing process, that you relate to others and this forms this kind of relating, that this enables the kind of doing, the intimacy of the doing that you wish, that when you understand this it will change the nature of your understanding of what it is you’re asking.  When many ask that they wish to have a particular kind of relationship, what they are frequently saying is that they wish to know a particular person in a particular way that enables them to relate to another in a more intimate way.  And by intimate, this does not necessarily mean sexual, or romantic, it simply may mean in a more loving way.

Let us explain something to assist you to understand the very nature and purpose of relationships.  The purpose of relating is not simply to have a relationship.  The purpose of relating is to develop a greater understanding of yourself.

It is not to learn about the other person, it is to learn more and more about yourself and through learning more about yourself, to learn how you are connected to source.

It is through others that you learn about yourself.

Other people are a reflection of your deepest unconscious beliefs, patterning and awareness.  Other people are in your universe and, in your experience, so that they can mirror back to you that which is not yet conscious.  This is why so many people exhibit behaviour which is abhorrent to you. the more abhorrent it is the less conscious you are of this behavioural trait.

It is not that you are closed to love, so much as it is about choosing to be aware of what is mirroring back to you. You can choose to be intimate with anyone, even the person who is the most irritating and frustrating. The very reason that that person is irritating and frustrating is simply because you have something that is deeply unconscious, and in order for you to become conscious of this it needs to annoy you.  It needs to stimulate an emotional response in you, so that you can become aware of it.  And it does this so that you can evolve.  So that you can transmute what is unconscious in to consciousness.

Many people ask us similar questions in different forms relating to the nature of choosing the “right” person.  WE are asked “Am I with the right person?  Is this person the right person?  Will I find the right person?  Is this person the wrong person?  Am I in the wrong relationship?”

What is presupposed in each of these questions is that there is a RIGHT person for you and that there is a wrong person. If we go back to the concept that everyone is a mirror of that which is unconscious. Everyone is in your universe, in your experience, so that you can become conscious of more, so that you can awaken and become aware of what is in your unconscious mind.

This means that that everyone in your experience is a right person. They are the right person to assist you to become aware and to evolve.

Now this does not mean that you must or that you should be in a romantic relationship with them, which is a question we are frequently asked.

We observe that humans hold constraints and beliefs about the nature of relationships.  You hold that there are different kinds of relationship, friend, lover, spouse, sexual, non-sexual. And these labels cause confusion and conflict. You wish to love this person but not to have sex with them. You wish to marry that person, and have sex with them but later you no longer wish to have sex with them.

There are firm beliefs about the nature of romantic relationships and of what is considered appropriate, and what is considered “wrong”.

Currently it is believed that one woman should be with one man, and that they should be the “right man/woman for the other. It is believed that you should marry or live together and forever and ever and happily ever after until you die, and that they should be forever monogamous and never have sex or love another. It has been believed that this is the only way and the right way to experience a relationship. for some time this has served your society well.

However it has also caused conflict, challenges and confusion.

In truth there is no “should”.  Instead we invite you to consider how you relate to another as a choice. You can simply choose to relate and not to relate. This idea of permanent, monogamous, heterosexual coupling.

Although this has served society in the past, it is no longer serving either society, nor is it serving many individuals

We invite you to consider this. to assume that there is no right or wrong person that you should be with for the rest of your life.  There is simply the person who is with you now, and you can choose to relate to them, and relate with them in such a way that you can learn and grow and evolve and you may choose to become intimate and you may choose to have sex with that person and all is acceptable in the eyes of spirit.

The very nature of relationships is evolving for individuals and societies. This has already been happening. Homosexuality is now acceptable. It is interesting to us, that it even needs these labels. When it is no longer necessary for these kinds of relationships to even have names,

As you evolve as a species and as a society the range and diversity of relating will increase more and more. You will create more and more labels for these different kind of relationships, bisexual, pansexual, polyamorous, panromantic asexual and more. Eventually, however, as you evolve the labels will drop and you will simply relate. You will be more intimate with more people. This is a sign of an evolved society. You will relate and connect more deeply emotionally.

So we invite, those of you who have asked, are you in the right relationship and will you meet the right person, to consider that anyone can be the right person if you choose them and anyone can. You can relate to anyone in a way that is desirable. You are at choice to choose if they are the right person or not and there is no one single right person that is waiting for you to find them. To believe this limits you from deeper connection to others, to yourself and to the divine. To believe that there is one right person you must find puts pressure on yourself and all whom you are with for them to try to BE that right person for you.

Instead we invite you to find the divine in all and everyone. They are you. You are them.

You can relate and learn and evolve and grow from and with anyone and everyone should you choose it. And you can always choose for it to be fun and joyful too.

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